Designing a Multi-Functional Nursery in a Borrowed Space
Post Summary: Designing a Temporary Nursery in a Borrowed Space (as a Method of Soothing Anxiety)
Our baby is expected in April. Due to recent complications, it was recommended to us by medical professionals to prepare for the possibility of his/her early, emergency arrival. For now, we’re taking it one milestone week at a time, grateful for every tick of the clock with this little one incubating inside me.
I actively try to think positive. I do believe that there’s unfathomable power in our energy and mindsets. Still, I’ve found the anxiety I’ve experienced during this pregnancy impossible to shelve entirely. It bubbles up in odd times, and has crept into my actions — or inactions — throughout the first and third trimesters in particular. This has been the root of my reluctance to plan a nursery of some sort. To be uncomfortably transparent, I was scared of creating an environment for a little one who might never experience it.
With my first pregnancy, I found myself mentally designing the closet nursery from the day I saw my test results. It was such a deliberate and heart-filled little process and place, with no detail left unconsidered. This time around, I’m more focused on the baby’s first home— my body— and the way it has both bolstered and betrayed us. My priorities have simplified and slowed. I’m honed in on one sanctuary at a time. One event at a time. One day at a time. (This isn’t so much by choice as it is by necessity.)
In the first trimester, I looked ahead by bits and pieces. I squared away the crib, dug out the old carrier and cloth diapers, and made a list of pump parts that needed replacing. But then, between our move from the cottage and the subsequent health scares, I stopped. I felt stuck in every way.
Besides, this is my second time I’ve found myself planning a nursery — our last nursery — in a borrowed space. And much like my health, there are things I can change, and things I simply and frustratingly cannot. Sometimes it’s a relief to surrender to one of the limited paths before you. Other times there’s a sense of urgency to fight like hell to form a new path. I didn’t want to surrender. But I also felt far too stretched to do much of anything else.
This past weekend I turned 40, and I rounded a curve. I’m diving back into this precious pregnancy with a shifted mindset. Every kick and roll from the baby is part of a new, intimate conversation between the two of us about our future. Sleeplessness is no longer time wasted, but bonding time gained.
As far as the nursery is concerned, I’m regaining sight of an activity I love— working with what I’ve got. I’m blending what already exists in the room with a mix of layers and materials thick with meaning. (The photos in this post are various pieces + inspirations I’m putting to use.)
I can’t change the carpet, the ceiling light/fan, or even certain furnishings… just like I can’t change some of the things taking place within my body and the baby’s. But I can create a safe, and loving space— inside and outside the womb. And I am finally able to envision and embrace a multi-functional place for our growing family to experience together.
Posts showing the room transformation to come.
