How to Politely Handle Unwanted Gifting
Every time I open up the Q & A section on my Instagram Stories, I get a few of the same inquiries on repeat. Without fail, they include:
“What do I do about well-intended friends and family who insist on buying gifts for me / my children when I don’t want anything?”
“How do I kindly tell my child’s grandparents to stop sending toys?”
“What do I do with unwanted gifts?”
My response to the first two questions is pretty simple, and thus far it has worked for us most of the time.
We gently tell our friends and family that the absolute best gift they can give to our son is an inhabitable planet for his generation and those that follow, and that giving him stuff doesn’t help him in the long run.
(For folks who just don’t quite understand the climate crisis or would like further explanation, I ask if they have an e-reader, then I gift them a digital copy of The Future We Choose: Surviving the Climate Crisis. )
We have a cheat, of course, as most people know by now that we live in a tiny house and cannot accommodate excessive belongings. But even if we lived in a bigger home, we’d still take the same approach when it comes to unsolicited gifting.
It’s important to keep in mind that folks usually are just trying to convey their love in a tangible form. As such, it’s productive to provide them with some sort of alternative / example of what sorts of gifts are welcome.
In our case, we tell our loved ones about the types of books West enjoys. (We always welcome books, knowing that we can ultimately give them to our library or a local school once West outgrows them.)
We also talk about museums and activities we enjoy, in case they’d like to gift a membership or admission fee that supports the organization while also providing our family with a new experience.
When it comes to regifting unwanted items, I look at it this way: If someone circles back and asks me to reveal the whereabouts of a present they once gave us, that relationship is probably one that needs some reconsidering or deep work.
And besides, there are so many people, families and organizations in need of certain goods that I feel no guilt in passing along a thing we do not need here, and giving it instead to someone who can put it to good use. And hopefully the gift-giver would understand and support that action.
Photos by Tinylicious.co
